2013 has been unpredictable. Rural rebellion, polemic peace talks, anti-democratic “coups”, and re-election rumours abounded.
To close this year of locura in our querida Colombia we bring you the best, the worst and the most ridiculous politicians of the past 12 months.
These are the Colombia Politics awards. Happy New Year.
Hero of the year – Nairo Quintana
Nairo is no politician, but his was a gritty and unassuming leadership all the nation admired this year.
While rural Colombia revolted, a bicycling sensation was born as Señor Quintana, claimed second place in his first ever Tour de France, this year.
The humble 23 year old, born to campesinos from Boyaca, stole Colombian hearts as he was first crowned the Tour`s King of the Mountain and then later stepped up to the Parisian podium in July.
Quintana`s story is a folklorically different to the pampered, and elite-trained athletes of Europe and North America.
There were no nutritionists to help Nairo in his teenage years, the diminutive youngster instead relying on Colombia`s carb-heavy culinary staples, sancocho and ajiaco.
Nairo cycled miles to school – as money often didn`t run to the bus fare – on a rickety old bike he father said was useless. Today, he is a gentleman; a smiling unassuming sporting hero.
Nairo, we salute you.
Politician of the year – Humberto de la Calle
Dulcet-toned de la Calle is the Santos Government`s chief negotiator in the peace talks with the FARC in Havana.
An eternal statesman, de la Calle has held cabinet positions over much of the last 20 years and has with huge aplomb steered the polemic and public-opinion-dividing talks with the guerrillas towards to a hopefully succesful conclusion.
Despite constant sniping from the sidelines and despite negotiating with the wily guerrillas who have devoted the last 50 years to a war against the Colombian state, de la Calle has managed to maintain the appearance of order and control.
Leadership is a rare quality and de la Calle`s erudite and calming influence has been its best example in 2013.
Wind bag of the year – Gustavo Petro
Love him or loathe him, Petro`s rhetoric has been unrivalled (in its verbosity) this year.
The newly sacked Mayor of Bogota is reminiscent of a 1980s University Student Union “trot” determined to divide the world into the bourgeois (evil) and the proletarian masses (virtuous yet down-trodden).
Commentators have perhaps a little unfairly said Petro has a “speech for everything and a solution for nothing”, but the mayor`s time in office has certainly been characterized by hyperbole and very little rolling up of sleeves and getting on with the job.
When the right-wing Inspector General Alejandro Ordoñez (hate figure for those on the left) decided earlier this month to depose Petro for his mishandling of the nationalization of Bogota`s rubbish collection (yes, really), Petro was handed the opportunity of a lifetime to transform himself from terrible administrator to the “people`s matyr”.
Expect 2014 to be another year of plaintive pomposity from Petro as he fights Ordoñez’s decision and tries to build a coalition of “indignados” ahead of congressional and presidential elections.
Foot in mouth moment of the year – President Santos
“El tal paro no existe”
Whoops, Mr President.
President Santos might be a nice patrician sort of chap but he is not the most charismatic of politicians. When forced to ad-lib, Juan Manuel often trips over himself with a sort of self-consciousness not usually associated with those who have risen to the top.
As nation-wide protests at the economic ruin of rural Colombia began to take hold in August, Santos appeared on television to utter the infamous line, “this national strike doesn`t exist”.
Lampooned and harrangued in equal measure, Santos appeared out of touch, insensitive, and worse still, unable to manage a crisis. The country told him in no uncertain terms that “yes, there jolly well was a strike, and what`s more we`re going to stick it out until you get on and do something about it”; roads were blocks, pots and pans were bashed in protest against the president, and Bogota rioted. Santos was forced to “militarize” (in his words) the capital to stop the rot.
The president saw his popularity levels fall below 20% and hasn`t since recovered.
Opposition politician of the year – a tie!
President Santos controls over 90% of congress and has most of the national media eating out of the palm of his hand (or his pocket, if Uribe`s allegations are to be believed).
Opposition in Colombia`s highly presidentialized system has often been a lonely pursuit.
So particular mention is merited for those who have stuck at it and tried to hold the president to account this year.
Colombia Politics could not decide on a winner between Jorge Enrique Robledo on the left and Alvaro Uribe on the right and so we decided to split the gong in two.
Former President Alvaro Uribe has been a constant thorn in the side of his successor, attacking Santos for being all talk and no delivery, for duplicitousness and betrayal in entering into talks with the FARC, and for weakness in his dealings with firebrand neighbours in Caracas and Managua.
Robledo too has been an almost lone voice in congress opposing government policy. Robledo`s engaging and forensic style has been put to effect with devastating effect, hastening the fall of ministers and ambassadors.
His dearest wish would be to put an end the Santos regime. This may be a step too far, but in 2014 he heads the senate list for the left wingers, Polo Democrats and could well be elected with the highest number of votes.
There are many other figures we would like to raise a toast to here, like the offensive Senator Gerlein who called homosexual sex “excremental”, and the corrupt former Bogota Mayor, Samuel Moreno who is alleged to have stolen over 15 million dollars of public money in the just three years he was in power.
What does 2014 hold? We hope for new leadership, some new faces and for Colombians to continue their “civic rebellion”, demanding more of their political class.
Here`s to a 2014 in which Colombia votes for peace and hopefully a little bit of a change too.